Two of the most influential mothers in the Hip-Hop world came together on Oct. 23 for an in-depth conversation about abuse, trauma, faith, and more.
Audrey Jackson, mother of the late rapper and Brooklyn native Pop Smoke, sat down with Dr. Carol Maraj, mother of multi-award-winning rapper Nicki Minaj, to discuss her new book, "Bruised But Not Broken," during the inaugural Café Conversations. The impactful conversation took place at “Pop’s Place,” a restaurant/ event space located in Canarsie.
“I wanted to bring conversations like these to the community and create a safe space for different kinds of people to come and have these types of conversations,” Jackson explained, owner of the space, which is dedicated to her late son.
“When Dr. Maraj said she had written a book, I was like, ‘Oh, okay, can you come?’ and she said yes. And I thought, because October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I thought it would be kind of a good one to start with to encourage others.”
According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, approximately 36 percent of women and 29 percent of men experience some form of domestic violence from their partner. 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men experience severe physical violence in their lifetime.
During the conversation, these women created a safe space for the attendees, as Maraj was transparent about the abuse she’s faced throughout her life, which began at a young age.
As she talked about her book, Dr. Maraj revealed that she first encountered abuse when she witnessed her mother being abused by her father, a memory she had forgotten about for over 40 years.
“When I was a little girl, I saw my father hit my mother with a flashlight,” she said. “When she fell, I saw him stand over her and choke her. I had suppressed that for almost 40 years. My siblings have stated that that incident never happened; however, when I was writing this book, the memory came back to me.”
Although she was abused, Maraj talked about suffering from Stockholm Syndrome. “I would feel sorry for him after he did the “nice things” for me, like making me dinner, bringing me little gifts, or simply apologizing for his wrongdoings,” she said. Eventually, her breaking point came after she was attacked at a party by her abuser and almost died at his hands.
In that moment, Maraj knew that she needed and wanted better for her and her children. At 29, she came to America from Trinidad, where she was able to put a name on what she was experiencing, which was domestic abuse.
Since settling in America, Maraj built a better life for herself and her family, and in doing so, she set boundaries in her current relationships, something Jackson also learned later on.
Jackson added that her friends changed her perspective about having non-negotiables without it conflicting with being a nice person. “I felt that to be an understanding person, you can’t draw lines for people. You had to kind of be open so that people knew they could come in.
“The point is that they can come in, but now they have to take their shoes off at the door before entering. So it’s just the learning of the nuance of growing up, and sometimes it takes some of us longer to learn that.”
Dr. Carol Maraj’s book, Bruised But Not Broken, is available for purchase on her website www.carolmaraj.com.
