Every year, an estimated 400,000 New Yorkers experience the death of someone close to them. And approximately one in 13 children in New York will experience the death of a parent or sibling before turning 18, and this number doubles by the age of 25. These are staggering numbers, yet grief remains something many people navigate largely alone.
As a Brooklyn-based psychotherapist and social worker who works with grieving children and adults, I know that grief can be tremendously isolating. In the beginning, friends and family bring meals, offer condolences, and check in regularly. But over time, this slows down; the grieving person is left grappling with an isolating reality that their life has been turned upside down as everyone else returns to their routines.
So where can those Brooklynites turn for support?
For some, individual therapy provides an important resource to process difficult emotions, particularly when grief is accompanied by depression, anxiety, or trauma. Others find comfort through religious congregations, community organizations, school counselors, or conversations with trusted friends.
But for others, an in-person peer-based group of people who are going through similar experiences provides the most helpful support. Peer support offers something different from professional therapy: a community of people who truly understand what you're going through because they’re living it too.
Research has shown that grieving people benefit from peer support. Sharing experiences with others who can relate helps to reduce feelings of isolation, provide emotional validation, and offer support while navigating grief.
At Our House NYC, where I serve as Clinical Program Director, these connections are at the heart of the programming. The model is simple: While grief may be universal, everyone’s experience is deeply personal. Coping with the death of a spouse while raising children is different from losing a parent, sibling, or a young child. Children, teens, and adults are placed in groups based on factors including age and relationship to the person who died. The goal is to connect people who can relate not only to one another’s grief but also to the changing relationships and everyday experiences that follow it.
As part of my work, I guide, train, and support volunteers who lead these groups. Our goal is to provide a judgment-free, supportive place to talk openly about grief in all its dimensions with people who understand. Participants meet in closed groups, meaning they remain with the same group over the course of the program, giving everyone time to build trust and, ideally, lasting relationships. There is no expectation that someone should simply “move on.”
For children, this peer support can be especially powerful. A child whose parent died may feel different from everyone else at school. Meeting other children at a similar age who also lost a parent or sibling can help them feel less alone. That’s why Our House NYC also brings grief support directly into New York City schools, working with educators and school communities.
Demand for Our House NYC's services has already exceeded expectations, creating a growing waiting list of New Yorkers seeking support. The challenge now is expanding quickly enough to reach them. While participants contribute to the cost of group sessions on a sliding scale, no one is turned away if they are unable to pay. We want to make sure grief support is accessible and affordable.
That requires more volunteers. Volunteers don’t need any previous professional experience in grief counseling, as our clinical staff provides training and curriculum, preparing them to co-lead groups.
Grief itself is not a mental illness. It's a natural response when someone close to us dies. While some people benefit from clinical treatment, others primarily need connection, understanding, and a place where they can speak openly without worrying about burdening those around them.
That's why I encourage my fellow Brooklynites to have conversations about grief - in our schools, workplaces, houses of worship, and community spaces. Brooklyn is known for its strong neighborhoods and sense of belonging, and we have a true opportunity to make grief less lonely.
Because sometimes the most comforting words aren't advice about how to move forward. They're simply, "I understand. I've been there, too."
Georgia Lavey, LCSW, is the Clinical Program Director of Our House NYC, a nonprofit grief support center serving children, teens, adults and families throughout New York City.
