Dear Miss Dinna –
I am a 24 year old heterosexual (I think?!?!) woman, but I seem to get turned on when I watch girl on girl porn. I actually prefer and become more aroused by watching girl on girl porn then I do watching male gay or female on male porn. Does this mean that I might be gay? I’m so confused. Please help.
Signed Strictly ….?
Dear Strictly…? –
Simply put – no it does not mean your gay, it just means you like to watch girl on girl porn.
Let me put it to you this way: human sexuality has a large spectrum – to simplify, we will make it a 0-10 scale. Let’s say 0 is completely and totally heterosexual, and 10 is completely and totally gay, and 5 is splat in the middle bi-sexual. If we look at this very simplified scale (and remember I am very much generalizing), 1 would be, for example, something like I am straight, but I’ve been around gay people and it doesn’t make me feel terrified.
Level 2 on the scale might be, I am straight, but I have fantasized once or twice about the same sex, enjoy watching same sex porn and have slightly entertained the idea of maybe some day kissing the same sex. Three might be I am a straight woman, but I have kissed a girl or two here and there on a drunken night in college. Four might be I am straight woman, but have had a few three ways and have slept with a woman or two in my time and am not opposed to doing it again….and so on.
With out getting too involved in the discussion of nature vs nurture, and the effects of society and norms etc. etc., it appears to me that you are somewhere in the 2 area….pretty much straight. Not to mention, there are a million other reasons why you might be more aroused watching girl on girl porn then straight porn (for example the men tend to be not very attractive/not as attractive as the women in porn and so maybe you are person who is highly led by aesthetics…..OR maybe you are a sensitive soul and it appears to you that the women are genuinely more so enjoying each other then the men in porn….but I digress J
All this to say, if this has caused you anxiety, then rest assured you are pretty damn straight. Otherwise, if you are tantalized by the idea that you might have lesbian tendencies, then I say go for it! It’s not as if experimenting creates for permanence. In the end, only you decide who you truly touches your “soul”, nobody else.
Onward young Explorer!!!
Ask Miss Dinna a question — any question– regarding relationships, sex and sexuality by emailing her at: [email protected], Subject: “Ask Miss Dinna.” She may answer your question personally or in a future column (your name will be kept anonymous).