Dear Miss Dinna –
I am going to make this short and sweet. I am a single 37-year-old woman who has not had a long term relationship for some time. But I live in New York and have the luxury of going out and meeting many people. I also love to have sex. How much casual sex is too much? Am I strange for “getting mine” from multiple partners and not feeling odd about it? FYI I probably sleep with a different man about once a month and have casual sex about 2-3 times a week.
Dear Bed Hopper –
I will make this short and sweet as well. Given that you mentioned nothing about truly desiring a long term relationship, nor did you mention feeling personally torn by your habits (you actually read pretty satisfied….using words like “luxury” and “love”) I would have to say that if anybody is describing your behavior as odd, then that’s their opinion and not a fact.
That is to say, as well, that your question sounds like it might be coming more from outside judgments being thrown your way, rather then genuine concerns originating from yourself.
If you’re happy and you’re safe, and you are not using any of these behaviors (such as casual sex) in order to hurt someone, yourself, or as a compulsive way to soothe yourself… then I say continue on.
When does this behavior become something to address? It’s when you stop all of the above stated paragraph: you’re not happy, you’re not safe, you’re hurting yourself or someone else, and your behavior has become compulsive (eg you use it to soothe yourself through all and every anxiety and stress and no amount is enough).
But until then my friend, Bed Hop On!
Ask Miss Dinna a question — any question– regarding relationships, sex and sexuality by emailing her at: [email protected], Subject: “Ask Miss Dinna.” She may answer your question personally or in a future column (your name will be kept anonymous).